Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
