Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
