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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.

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Playing comes first, you can work later.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.

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Nice shoes! Wanna screw?

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

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He who laughs last thinks slowest.

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If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.