Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
You live and you learn.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
