Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
