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Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.

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"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

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Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.

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The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.

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Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.

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How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.