Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
