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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.

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I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?

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Some people should be high-fived...in the face.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Don't judge a book by its movie.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.

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Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?