Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
