Born to be different, like everyone else.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
