Born to be different, like everyone else.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
