I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Haters are just confused admirers.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
It's weird not to be weird.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Everybody is a student for life.
