I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
