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I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.

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Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.

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You can't define love, but love can define you.

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.

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S_CCESS can't be complete without U.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.