I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Wherever you go, there you are.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
