I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
