If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
F that B.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
