If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
Haters make you famous.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
