If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
