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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.

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I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

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Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.

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Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Haters hate because they are what you ain't.

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Haters make you famous.

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Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

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Born to be different, like everyone else.

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That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.

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I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.

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Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.