I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
