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I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....

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The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.

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Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...

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The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.

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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.

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Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.

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When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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If you're good at something, don't do it for free.

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I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.