The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
F that B.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
