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The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.

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I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.

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You live and you learn.

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When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.