The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
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The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Love needs to get glasses.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
