The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
