The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Everybody spread positivity.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
