The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
