What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
