What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
