What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
