If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
It's weird not to be weird.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
