If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
