If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Immaturity keeps me young.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
