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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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We put the "us" in trust, baby.

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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.

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God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....

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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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If you got haters, you must be doing something right.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?

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A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.