Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
