Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
