Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
