Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
