Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Haters make you famous.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
