Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
