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If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.

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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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You live and you learn.

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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Take it easy, give it hard.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.