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If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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You do not learn anything by doing everything right.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.

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Some people should be high-fived...in the face.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.