If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
