I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Winners do what other people won't.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
