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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.

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The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

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I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.

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Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.

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The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".