I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
