That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
