That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
