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I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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Don't wait for anybody to complete you.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

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I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.

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I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

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Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.