I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
