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I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.

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Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.

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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

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Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!

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Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!

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11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.