I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Trust in God but lock your car.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
