I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.