That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
