I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
