I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
