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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.

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Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.

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Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.

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Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.

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If you can't beat them, taze them.

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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Wherever you go, there you are.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.