My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
