The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Be positive for no reason.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
F that B.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
