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The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.

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If you can't beat them, taze them.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.

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I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.