The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
