Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
