It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
