What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
