Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
