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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.

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How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Be positive for no reason.

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Haters make you famous.