Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Take it easy, give it hard.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
