Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
