Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
You live and you learn.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
