Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
