Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Immaturity keeps me young.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
