I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
You're only as good as your last game.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Be positive for no reason.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
