If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
