If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.