If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
