Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Real eyes realize real lies.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
