A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
F that B.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
