A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
