A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
The last thing I want to do is die.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
