A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Take it easy, give it hard.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
