Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
