Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Make money, don't let it make you.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
