Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
