Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.