I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
