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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.

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F that B.

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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.

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God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.

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Love needs to get glasses.

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Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.