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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.

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Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.

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My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?