Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
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