Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Trust in God but lock your car.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
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