Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
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