Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
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