Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.