Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Haters are just confused admirers.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
It's weird not to be weird.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.