The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
