The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Make money, don't let it make you.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
