Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
The last thing I want to do is die.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
