Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
