Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Everybody spread positivity.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
