Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Fall in love with my mind.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
