If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
