If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
