If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Everybody is a student for life.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Be positive for no reason.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
