If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
You live and you learn.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Fall in love with my mind.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
